Okay, folks...

...NOW you may go to http://doggans.com .

And you should, if you want to keep reading my stupid blog posts, because I will be posting them all there instead of here from now on.

(Just for clarification, I know that a number of people recently left LiveJournal due to some privacy thing. This has nothing to do with that; I've been planning to move the blog to my own domain for a long time now. I avoid worrying about privacy concerns through a little-known method called NOT TELLING THE INTERNET PRIVATE THINGS.)

Anyway. http://doggans.com/blog will be the home of all future ramblings. Update your bookmarks, IF YOU DARE.

About last night...

Last night, I laughed as hard I've ever laughed before. My throat is still a little sore.

Last night, I took a three-hour both-ways car ride, and was coasting off of so much adrenaline and excitement that I didn't even feel the usual traveller's exhaustion.

Last night, I met a friend of mine in person for the first time.

Last night, I saw videos I had loved on YouTube, now projected onto a big screen with over a hundred other people laughing.

Last night, I saw people dressed in Halloween costumes I never thought I'd see. Costumes from The Guild, from The Legend of Neil, and more. Costumes that nobody in my neighborhood would recognize, but impressed me to no end.

Last night, I learned from a Mythbuster what it's like to wear an official C-3P0 suit, and from another Mythbuster what it's like to wear a fan-made Chewbacca suit. The latter was wearing said suit at the time.

Last night, I discovered a new favorite singer. I also helped her remember the words to "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything". Oh, and I may have fallen just a little bit in love with her.

Last night, I reenacted a scene from "The Room", one of the most infamous movies of the decade, by dressing as Zombie Tommy Wiseau and tossing a football around with Paul Sabourin (of da Vinci's Notebook/Paul and Storm), Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy (both of MST3K/RiffTrax). But more importantly, my costume seemed to amuse them. I brought a smile to the face of performers who have put countless on mine over the years. Even if they were just humoring me, it was an amazing feeling.

Last night, I won a free pass to PAX East, just because my costume happened to be zombie-related.

Last night was the best Halloween ever.

And THAT'S why you always go to w00tstock.

Zombie Wiseau and the Epic Photobomb Massacre, featuring Adam Savage, stage manager Liz "Dammit Liz" Smith, Paul and Storm, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett. Pic by Zack DeRose.

My Proposed Facebook Movie

"The Social Network", the story of Mark Zuckerberg as told through the eyes of David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin, was released this weekend. I didn't go see it, because frankly, a standard biopic is not what I wanted to see in a Facebook movie. I don't want to know about the psychology of Facebook's creator, I want to know about the psychology of Facebook itself.

My ideal movie on the subject would tell the story of Facebook as an insecure girl just starting her Freshman year in college. Even though she's friends with many of the students and even some of the teachers, she still doesn't feel quite happy. She sees her older sister, a goth singer named MySpace, is one of the most popular girls at school, and decides to try to be like her to become more popular. The problem is, MySpace is only popular because she's a massive slut. So Facebook starts down a dark path, opening herself up to everybody--first just college students, but soon even high schoolers, and eventually anybody who asks regardless of age or affiliation. MySpace's popularity bottoms out, and soon Facebook is the hot girl on campus. The power goes to her head, and she starts gossiping about her friends, broadcasting everything they tell her on a News Feed Bulletin Board on the door to her room. Her friends are upset about this invasion of privacy, but they tolerate this behavior because they still find themselves addicted to her.

To make her not completely unlikeable, the film would show her actually attempt to have real conversations with people, intimate one-on-one chats, but every one of them gets interrupted for some reason that the other person chatting can't figure out.

Soon her younger sister Twitter comes to college, and despite being an even bigger gossip with a much shorter attention span, she becomes more popular than Facebook or MySpace ever did. This brings all of Facebook's insecurities back to the forefront, and she gets increasingly stupid makeovers despite her friends telling her they liked her the way she was. She starts giving out comment cards, asking everybody to check if they "like" every innocuous action she does, even if the action is merely expressing her enjoyment of stepping on crunchy leaves.

As the film goes on, poor Facebook sinks deeper and deeper into despair, getting more and more desperate, until she eventually dies at the hands of those she's spurned (unless the test audiences demand we change it to a heartwarming tale where she discovers she was beautiful all along).

The film would be slated to open on 6,000 screens, but then be banned from half of them for being a timewaster and a distraction to the employees.

(Thanks to Elizabeth Coon for helping inspire this idea!)

An Open Letter to Wiseau Films Regarding Internet Reviews

Dear fine folks at Wiseau Films,

I have been a fan of your movie for the past year, ever since seeing it at a midnight screening in Los Angeles. It was the most unique filmgoing experience of my life, and I purchased the DVD out of a desire to relive the experience over and over.

I have also been a fan of Doug Walker and his Nostalgia Critic reviews for several years now, and I was delighted to discover that Doug would be doing a review of your movie. The review was every bit as hilarious as I was hoping, and I enjoyed the review on the site by Allison Pregler (aka Obscurus Lupa). Both of these reviews were funny, and more importantly to me, they helped spread the joy of "The Room" to others. I have friends I've tried to recommend the movie to, and they weren't interested UNTIL the Nostalgia Critic's review. After that, I got them to watch the whole movie, and convinced them to check out any theatrical midnight screenings they might come across.

Thanks to the Nostalgia Critic, you have more fans than you did before. By asking the Channel Awesome/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.Com team to remove the Critic and Lupa reviews, you're hurting your own profits.

In the words of a great man, "When you watch The Room, you can laugh, you can cry, you can express yourself, but try not to hurt each other." All the Channel Awesome team wants to do is help spread the laughs that your film has given them, by expressing themselves. They did nothing to hurt you; they only helped you gain a wider fanbase.

Everybody deserves a chance to discover the joy of "The Room". Thanks to the Nostalgia Critic and Obscurus Lupa, thousands of more people will get that chance. By telling them to remove their reviews, the only people you are hurting are yourselves.

I hope you will reconsider your attack on the team, because allowing the reviews to remain online would be a very good thing for "The Room"'s fanbase.